What to do when it's finally warm out and you're a Grandma.

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Today is a beautiful day, or so they keep telling me.  I sat in my office wearing a sweater, a sweatshirt, and leather jacket, warmed only by my undying denial that I have a thyroid problem. If you are the type of Grandma who is eager to whip out her walker and glide down the sidewalk, enjoying the breeze, then by all means go right ahead! 

For the non-outdoorsy of us, here are some things you can do to bring that summer wind indoors. 

ONE

Buy some flowers from your local flower stand, bodega, or even Fairway Market. Flowers are very nice and remind people of the summertime.  You can keep them inside and if you squint really hard, you will think you might be outside!

TWO

 
 

Take the flowers you've just purchased and, with unsquinting eyes, put them in a vase so that when people come over to visit you (for instance, if they have to pee and realize that the "great" outdoors are somewhat limiting in their bathrooms) you aren't still lying on the pile of flowers you bought, perhaps reenacting the movie poster from American Beauty, lying in such a repose as to possibly re-injure that hip you've just had replaced. 

THREE

Open a window. This way the warm air can come in and brush past your nose, reminding you of your youth and the times in the past when you, too, were one such Grandma who ventured forth into the great unknown.

FOUR

Take a nap! The folks that are enjoying the warm weather aren't able to nap while they do this. And you're always saying how tired you are.  No? Just me?

FIVE

Still unsatisfied with my suggestions?  Look no further.  You can, from the comfort of your own computer, view the great landscapes of the world, without a need to apply sunscreen or put on a pair of Depends. You might even consider this to be the best of both worlds.  

Regardless of what you choose to do, remember that tomorrow it probably will be cold again because of global warming, probably, so bundle up!