When your friends retire.
Saturdays are perfect for visiting your fellow Grandmas. And what better reason for a visit than to celebrate the retirement of a group of your gals?
Yesterday, my beau, Sam, and I did just that. The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey are performing at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn and this weekend was the last march of the elephants. That's right, folks! Assan, Luna, Mable, and Tonka are all on their way to retire in sunny Florida.
At first, Sam was not thrilled to go (see above). Sam doesn't always understand my Grandma ways, but tends to blindly follow me regardless. So off to the circus we went!
The opening act (couldn't actually tell you what the opening was as Sam and I were late) was a cage of lions and tigers. Not impressed? There also was a human in the cage and listen here, they all made it out alive. The lions and tigers leapt over one another and responded to very basic names like Bess and Bella. The human male was braver than most I've met.
The show also consisted of eight people riding motorcycles inside a small metallic sphere and—get this—they're all siblings! Seems to me like at least one or two of them could have picked up a unique hobby but I suppose what's done is done.
Finally, the elephants came along!
The four fabulous ladies strutted their way into the center ring and I immediately understood why they want to retire. First of all, headgear is not cute on a woman past a certain age. And while it may be an attempt to draw attention away from certain-someones' big ears, it really does nothing but highlight just how long those trunks are.
As if that weren't reason enough to retire, they made one of these ladies to a handstand! What about elephants would make someone think they're best when holding the entirety of their bodyweight with just their front legs? Oh and who is acting as her spotter should she fall? That's right, another elephant! Because having someone with, I don't know, workable arms who perhaps could catch a falling elephant would have made too much sense I suppose.
Elephants, you were great. I'm sorry for the strange tricks and costumes that you were forced to wear. I hope you enjoy retirement, which, from what I hear, involves men and should be a hoot of a good time!
Happy retirement, old pals, and to any of my Grandmas out there who are considering throwing in the towel on their downward-spiraling careers, having succumbed to the fact that their best days are behind them, fear not as you remember that you still can go to the circus and see a poodle stand on a rope.