What to get Grandpa for your anniversary when you're a Grandma.

Once a year, it's customary to get your significant other something to commemorate another year spent in each other's company, blissful or otherwise.  People like to gift things such as flowers, chocolates, jewelry, socks, and other such symbols for your love for each other.  

When you're a Grandma, however, you need a gift that will really be a wow-er.  Chocolates only last so long and as you're teetering on the brink of diabetes, you best stay away from unnecessary sweets.  Plus, you may not have many years left to celebrate anniversaries and things, so gotta give the good gifts whilst you can. (Side note, whilst is a great Grandma word. Try using it in a sentence today!) 

Without further ado, I present to you the single best gift you could give to your spouse on your anniversary, regardless of how old you are or what number anniversary it is, so long as you both are literate: 

A BOOK OF TEXT MESSAGES

I know what you're thinking: do Grandmas even text?  Some of us do.  Some of us are even prolific texters, crafting some excellent geriatric jokes whilst texting our loved ones (listening to my own advice there and using "whilst" in a sentence!) I often text with my Grandma guru who is not a Grandma in name only but has the grandkids to earn her the title. She is 80, wears only clothing of a single color, always speaks her mind, and sometimes sends text messages several days past when they were relevant. 

A book of text messages is a printed and bound book of every single message you and Grandpa have exchanged with one another since the dawn of texting.  It is a treasure trove of information.  What was the first text you sent to him? Who was more flirty early on? How many texts have been exchanged arranging a time and place to meet? Learn the answers to these questions and more inside your very own book of texts!

How can you make one of these books for the special Grandma/pa in your life?

STEP ONE

Using a phone manager such as iMazing, offload all of your text messages to your computer. This may take a long time so if you think you'll want to take a nap at any point in this process, now is the time. 

STEP TWO

Locate your significant other's name in your text messages. Sometimes their name is written as just as "Sam", sometimes it's a series of emojis, such as "🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕", but either way, you should be able to identify their messages easily. 

STEP THREE

Export those bad boys to a PDF! Not sure what a PDF is? It stands for Please Download, Friend! Make sure to save as a Tabloid though, so you and your significant other can read the texts without needing your glasses!

STEP FOUR

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Here's where you can get a lil fancy if you so choose.  I'm a fancy Grandma, so that's what I opted to do, but don't let the high bar I've set deter you from choosing a more simplistic path. Sometimes you have to own your mediocrity and this might be one of those times.  I chose to create a nice layout of my book in Adobe Illustrator. You do you.

STEP FIVE

Ultimately, however fancy you may or may not be, you'll want to get your book bound and printed.  The internet has a boundless supply of places that will do just that. Boundless.  See what I did there? You want to get your book bound and the supply is boundless.  It's a pun. 

Moving on. The place I like to use is called Blurb.  They will walk you through all the steps required to bring your book to life! 

STEP SIX

Present the book to Sam / 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕 and enjoy as he unwraps the greatest gift he ever will receive. Enjoy as he struggles to explain why his gift "hasn't arrived yet" and is "in the mail". Enjoy as he promises to wash all of your grandma sweaters for you and massage your feet every day for a month in exchange for such a thoughtful, selfless, endlessly entertaining gift.  Enjoy this glory, but remember to tell him that you got the idea from me.

Meryl NatowComment